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A poem I wrote sometime earlier in the summer. I don't think I finished it but I decided to post it.

No human can tell what the bird larks
Whether her song be of love, heartbreak or sorrow
No matter the topic, the melody sounds just as sweet

The smile just as bright
Face paint as thick as a geisha's
The happy face

The dancing eyes
As fragile as a porcelain doll
Held tight
The most beloved
Of the prettiest play things owned
Until the masquerade ends
The smile fades
The bright stars in her eyes dims
Then she is placed
On the shelf of other worn
Things
That once held memories

A Glance Behind

It finally clicked in that I leave in about three days. And as my nine-year-old brother came in to kiss me goodnight, I had the strongest urge to cry. Then when I walked past his bedroom to go down stairs, I had the desire to climb into his bed and snuggle up for the last couple of nights. I haven't been here all summer, yet he doesn't seem to care. He's just happy that I'm here now. It breaks my heart to leave him again, after such a short period of being here.

Research shows that if you have siblings at least 10 years apart they go through only child syndrome. I told myself this all summer while I was gone. He's going to be fine. It's like his the only child. Yet, I couldn't whole heartedly believe this because for most of his life I took a motherly role in his life, when my mom was too busy with her personal life, and my dad too busy with his church life. It's like watching my child be adopted.

When I came back this summer. I said I would strictly play the sister role. The fun sister that didn't worry about whether you ate dessert before dinner and let you play video games all day. However, with departure drawing near, I feel the strongest desire to wrap him in my arms and protect him from my parents. Yes, from my parents.

It's hurts that I can't do that. But deep down I know he'll be fine. He isn't weak like me. Sensitive, yeah. Spoiled, definitely. I'm sure he'll grow out of that. He's a rebel at heart, something I can only be with lots of determination and a self prep talk.

He'll be fine, if my dad doesn't break his spirit. Something I've been trying to put back to together for myself these last couple of years.

With that said I'm going to snuggle up with my little brother.

Almost Honest

I would be almost honest

If I said we were meant to be

That the fingers of you and me

Were to interlock into an embrace

That when my heart beats yours skipped a pace

Meant to be for only a season

You cannot hold onto the snow

When the sun is shining

you cannot question the reason

Things come and go

And through experience you grow

I would be almost honest

If I thought we let go

At just the right moment

That some dark hidden feelings

Weren't lying dormant

Under the facade of smiles and kisses

If I looked into your eyes

And knew it wouldn't break your heart

I would be honest

But if I were honest

I can see your soul and spirit die

So I can only be

Almost...

Nothing Left to Say

I will write when I figure out the right words. I know what I want to say, just not how.